She moves in her own way.

On darkened streets tonight...

2008-05-14T16:24:15Z

I see a simple time
I see the warning light
and the summer comes undone
no sorry closing eyes
no cutting down to size
no other thoughts arise
and the summer come undone

on darkened streets tonight
I make a wrong turn right
take in the lonely sight
and the summer comes undone

and I won't wait
and I won't have to
~~I just waste my time alone~~
'til the summer comes undone
[Yo La Tengo]

So as I was driving home from hanging with Ames last night, this song came on. Sometimes, not all of the lyrics fit. But the ones that do = <3 I'm so glad to be home! I just looked at the Warped Tour line-up [amazing, btw] and I'm thinking about all of the things I'm going to do this summer. I'm just so excited, for so many reasons. One of them being I can actually relate to a Post Secret like this:

I'm calling back to say I'm home now.

2008-05-13T04:19:50Z

Here I am laying on my bed, Ginger in my arms and Misha at my feet. I missed these two little fur-balls so much. My dad said that Misha even looks happier since I got home. I'm going to do everything I can to make sure she's in much better health, as soon as possible. Its kind of funny, both of us getting better this summer, together. I took today to rest and literally just laze about. I needed to, my head has been spinning for the past three days. I had a nice home-cooked meal with my parents tonight and yesterday as well. I watched some television with them too, talked and just hung out. I haven't even really unpacked anything yet! Dad got his new car today, so the Focus is officially mine now! I went to the grocery store for my mother earlier, turned up the music and just reveled in the fact that I have my own car again. And a pretty sweet one at that! I'm SO lucky my parents are so awesome. Tomorrow I have an appointment and then I'm hopefully going to see my niece. After that I have plans to hang out with Miss Amy Gunnip! The rest of you better be ready to hang out very soon! I'm trying to just chill out and relax because I know in a couple days, I'm going to be running around in a panic trying to find a job. I do miss my kids from school already, but I'm just so so SO glad to be done with academics for awhile. And to be home, where I can cuddle two cute puppies whenever I want<3 Oh and Rolin comes home on Wednesday!

But you really caught me.

2008-05-09T08:39:36Z

So tonight? Probably the best way to spend my second-to-last night here. Nothing too out of the ordinary, I had my sculpture class [which dragged on forEVER]. Picked up food at the hub with Miranda. Went over to 6-1 and spent some time with Miranda, Michelle and Stacey. Went over to Raul's for a few hours, hung out with the usual kids. Then Juju [haha!] and I smoked/had some girl talk under one of the trees on the great lawn. And then as we're outside of my building talking at like 4AM, Candice gets dropped off right near us! So I walked in with her and chatted for a few minutes. I fucking adore her, I can't wait to be roommates! I know it doesn't sound like anything crazy, but tonight... it was one of those nights that I could never predict or plan- it just happened. These are my best nights, not Christmas or my birthday or some huge pre-planned party. Nights that just unfold themselves before me. I know this sounds a little crazy, but I guess I feel its important for me to recognize the little things. Its what makes me love life; see the beauty in everything. I also love how I don't NEED to plan my nights ahead of time here, I can always be sure I'll run into someone I know or have something to do. Its just refreshing to finally feel satisfied with my social life [for the most part]. I have some great friends and I'm still meeting new people all of the time. The more people I meet, the more I love this college. More on that in another entry.
I am really excited to go home for the Summer though! I think I'm really looking forward to it because I feel like I've changed a lot since last summer. It'll be nice to have a different perspective, to be able to enjoy my life at home more, to reconnect with old friends and strengthen new friendships. You get the idea and now I'm just rambling.

Goodnight.

Love Love Love (Love Love)

2008-05-08T07:39:59Z

I'm such a romantic its disgusting. Apparently, I do have emotions. They're just only exposed when I watch a hopelessly adorable movie. I was bored and didn't feel like going to bed when I came back to the room, so I watched Penelope. Way too cute for words. I totally smiled and cried and got all sappy, it was great. It had really nice images in it, on top of a really sweet love story. Uber positive message, too. I know its just a movie, but it seems that the only love life I have is lived vicariously through characters in movies. Its better than nothing! The kind of love I see in films, the kind of love I actually want... well, who knows if it even actually exists anyway.
[Insert hopeless romantic sigh here]

Don't think I forgot about Across The Universe though... Jim Sturgess is still my man.

A girl with kaleidoscope eyes.

2008-05-02T18:39:57Z

Update
Was introduced by a friend to "the crush" yesterday. He's way cute and awkwardly shy. I feel like a creep knowing as much about him as I do, thanks Stalkbook. At least I'll make a new friend or something, he seems like a cool guy.
I had two of my last [regular] classes this week. I come home next Friday, I can hardly wait. I actually had a dream about my dogs last night because I miss them so much, no lie.
I'm not working at the YMCA again this summer because they can only re-hire 50% of the people from last summer and they're already set. Shit. That means I need to find a new job. ~~Possibly~~ One of my most loathed activities, ever.
I have a ton of writing, revising and a take-home final to do this weekend.
Laundry, packing and such are on the agenda as well.
Friends are having parties tonight and tomorrow, which rules- I so need a break.
This summer is going to be fun, but there's definitely some changes that need to be made. For example, I need to start playing guitar WAY more. I'm okay with where I'm at as a temporary thing, but not forever.
But first, a nap!

You can find a way through the rain.

2008-04-28T22:37:16Z

10 Small Reasons Today Was/Is Cool
[in no particular order]

1. Hung out with Candice [my roommate for next year] & her boyfriend Eli for a bit.

2. Last Narrative Techniques class!

3. Facebook love from Jackie Kratz, Jodi and my brother.

4. Picture message of Emma from Missy.

5. Hugs from Michelle.

6. Bat For Lashes is playing right fucking now.

7. Neopets games.

8. The Departed, after homework of course!

9. Sour Patch Kids.

10. My peers actually liked my short story written for today's workshop.

Lets go and get tangled in chains of golden days.

2008-04-27T15:03:59Z

I woke up around 9 this morning because I had to pee and decided to call my parents. I figured its a Sunday morning, they'd be sitting down to eat breakfast so it would be a good time to chat for a bit. I ended up being on the phone for over an hour and a half. I love them so much! I know it might sound silly, but it was one of the best conversations [via phone] I've had with them since this semester started. I talked to my dad for quite awhile, about how I'm excited to come home & am looking forward to this summer, how big my niece is getting, how beautiful the weather has been here and all of that fun stuff. Mom and I talked about Misha, how I need to really make sure I take extra care of her this summer, how we're definitely going to work on losing weight together [weight watchers!] and making some serious lifestyle changes. We also talked about the garage sale we're going to have the end of May. I need to start planning the birthday party I want to have for her! I forgot her birthday last year, so I wanted to attempt a surprise party this year to make up for it. And because my beautiful mama is going to be 50!
Its mornings like this that make me realize I'm going to be okay. My parents are such great people and if I'm anything like them, I'm lucky. Its kind of ridiculous but I'm finally starting to embrace being a real adult now [minus paying tons of bills and that stuff]. I'm excited to start taking responsibility for my life, making some changes and just enjoying where I'm at, instead of fighting it. Losing weight, its going to be really hard, it is. But knowing my mom is going to be right by my side, doing the same thing, it makes me feel like I can actually do it.
I'm ready.

I can't wait to come home!
This summer is going to be great.

I just want your kiss, boy.

2008-04-25T05:34:42Z

I have such a crush [what a shock] on this guy whose name I don't even know [again, surprise- not]. There's really nothing about him that stands out -- he's tall, has brown eyes, shaggy brown hair, dresses kind of simple [jeans/t-shirt]. But he's SO CUTE. And I could totally swear that he checked me out at the hub tonight for like at least a split second.

Wow, I'm pathetic.

But anyway, the moral [or rather the point] of the story is we definitely made eye contact and I quickly looked away. When I looked back, we made eye contact again. And my stomach did a total somersault. I want that... on a regular basis. I want a person [not necessarily Sir No Name] that makes me smile. I would take back every complaint I've ever made about not having a relationship if I met a cool/cute guy that made the wait worth it. Someone that could melt me into a puddle with a split second of eye contact.

Okay, so I lied. I wouldn't mind a relationship. But only if it was everything I wanted.

I've never been this far away from home.

2008-04-23T01:46:22Z

I love it here.
But I'm over this semester.
Time to go home now.
Where the food is better, the stars are closer and I have access to a car.
I hope the next few weeks go by quickly.

Its my own fault.

2008-04-14T00:25:33Z

I'm letting go.

Take care of this, please.

You say that its time.

2008-04-12T22:27:04Z

I'm so sick of one thing, one SIMPLE fucking thing keeping me from being happy. Its always in the back, if not the forefront, of my mind. Why can't I just fix this already?
What the hell is wrong with me?!

It'd be such a shame if I spent my whole life struggling, when I could've controlled it.

Love takes the meaning in love's conference.

2008-04-07T07:43:35Z

I mean, that my heart unto yours is knit.
[Shakespeare, A Midsummer Night's Dream]

I'm all about being Miss Independent and single and all of that shit.
But it'd be nice if I had someone to cuddle with.
Even if it was only for a little while.
Just to have... some kind of... something extra.

And you are so beautiful, you make me want to scream.

2008-04-06T22:25:54Z

Saturday was just as lovely as Friday, though much more low-key. I went to the DH and talked with Johanna for breakfast, got coffee with Allie at Starbucks and then went to see a play with Michelle. It was her friend Nicole's senior project, "The Intelligent Design of Jenny Chow." I laughed a lot and cried a little too, a feat usually too big for most student plays here. Michelle's friend Arley sat with us and the three of us went to get food at the Hub afterwards. Arley is a totally cute and funny dude, for the record. After some interesting conversation, we went back to Michelle's and hung out there for awhile. [Bonus: Arley and I smoked ;] I helped them run lines for "A Midsummer Night's Dream" [I read the part of Helena- Michelle is Hermia, Arley's Lysander], which was actually pretty fun. Arley and I ended up watching TV on the couch for a bit after Michelle went to bed. "Land of the Dead" or whatever that one zombie movie with John Leguizamo is, was on so we watched that for awhile. Arley was trying really hard to make basketball seem sexy so that I'd want to watch it, but I was just like "No dude, its not working" and grabbed the remote from him. It was kind of weird, I felt really comfortable with him almost right away. I'm not used to that with guys at all! Just like how [interesting] conversation is really easy with that guy Erik. Maybe I'm getting over my awkwardness with the [heterosexual] opposite sex?! Here's to hoping!
Now I'm off to the dining hall with Alex for dinner. Rock of Love later!

Zombie prom<3

2008-04-05T17:54:00Z

Tonight is definitely going down as one of the most interesting nights at Purchase thus far. Zombie prom=amazing. Between getting serenaded "Happy Birthday" by Stacey, Rachel, Brent, and Jen, with Miranda playing violin in the background and making sure a cute drunk guy got home safe... ohh, it was a fun night. And highly entertaining. Once again, my night turned out completely different than I thought it would, but in a good way. I kind of tried to watch Brent because his ass was totally drunk and ridiculous. He finally ended up making out with Evan though, so thats exciting. I hung out with Stacey and Rachel a bit, Stacey bought me a cake. We did shots, smoked, I did everyone's makeup. And then from there, its a little blurry- so much happened. I ran into Jay, he actually was like "Hey, um are we cool? Like are we friends?" I told him we're cool, but it was kind of funny. Brent pissed in public, between the Neuberger and Humanities, I couldn't stop giggling. Brent and I smoked behind Alumni and I was so paranoid. Brent kept being the sketchiest motherfucker alive asking every single he person he passed for a cigarette. I was at Raul's for awhile, but then decided to head back to my room since it was getting kind of late and I was bored. On the way I passed Maria's in the Olde and Brent was like "Come hang out!" So I did and I ended up talking to that guy Erik again and he actually acknowledged my presence. Apparently he'd been making out with this other girl the whole night and she was bummed cause he was acting all weird or something. I just kind of acted neutral and talked to both of them, but I ended up leaving with Erik. He like dragged me near the laundry room to drink a beer and smoke a cigarette [I don't know why there]. I could tell he was really messed up so I just helped him back to his room and came back to my room. It was strange though, he seems to enjoy talking to me but didn't ask for my number or anything. Maybe he just thinks I'm cool in like that "cousin kind of way" [thanks for that one Dan K.] I don't have time to decode any dude's mind though. You're either in or you're out- I'm not going to try and figure out your games.
But really, tonight was pretty fucking cool. I'll post pictures when I find my camera cord, but take my word for it- I was a pretty hot zombie.

You can wake me when we get there.

2008-04-02T15:29:09Z

Its 10AM on a Wednesday and I'm actually conscious! Room selection was a success- Candice and I are going to be in W306 in Fort Awesome next year. STOKED. I'm really excited, its going to be so much fun. I'm starting to feel like I'm solidifying some of my newer friendships, which is good because so many other friends just don't seem interested in hanging out anymore. I'm a bit worried about this summer though. I didn't really have a regular social life before I left home and now the few people I did hang out with, well they've kind of moved on. Which is totally fine, thats to be expected. I can't complain about "being left out" of anyone's lives because I haven't found the time to call them either. Its a bummer feeling like you've been discarded though. But hey, I'm done with that negativity shit. People either like me or they don't, and I don't have the time to worry about the ones that don't.
My birthday was definitely different this year. No presents, no big party or celebration, just a few little ones beforehand. I hung out with some friends and thats about it. I got texts, calls and Facebook comments from a lot of people, so that was pretty cool. Sometimes, affection is better than any gift. Actually one of the things that meant the most to me was my sister calling and my older brother texting me. I know it doesn't sound like much, but its a big deal because I didn't even really think they'd remember. Its weird having to make your birthday special for yourself though. I'm trying to get better at this adult thing, but its so difficult sometimes!
Its looking like the weather is going to be gorgeous, despite the wind. I might take a walk around campus if it gets warm enough. I just want to relax and hang out today, I deserve it.

What can I say but "I'm wired this way."

2008-03-29T16:00:08Z

I should still be sleeping, seeing as how I was somehow up until fucking four in the morning. But I need to vent. Nothing is worse than waking up pissed off. That seems to happen way too much for my liking lately. It could be, I just don't really like my roommate all that much. I feel kind of bad, little things annoy me. Like how she has the same dude over every weekend and they fucking wake me up with their talking and kissing. Go somewhere else. Maybe I'm just jealous and need to get laid myself to feel better. But I don't know, its not even that- all I want is a quiet fucking room when I want to sleep. THIS is exactly why I wanted a single. Or even a roommate I'm friends with because then I can overlook stupid shit. But we're not friends. She's nice and all, but we're totally different people... kind of like how Beth was nice, but she drove me crazy to live with. I know I'M really the impossible one to live with anyway.
Purchase is getting the best of me right now. I'm trying so hard to love this place, but its really difficult. I'm trying even harder to hate myself less. I just can't seem to get into the human race. Everyone gets on my nerves, or I feel like a total wallflower. I'm sorry, I don't have enough stamina to keep trying to make friends. I don't have it in me to stay alive and functioning properly AND break these fucking social barriers. Everyone here seems to be having such a good time, there's always parties in the Olde and some of these girls have more style than anyone I've ever met before. And I always figured, yeah this is it, one day I'll fit in here- this is my school, finally. God, I was wrong. I don't fit in anywhere and I'm so fucking sick of it. I don't even know what I'm writing this for, broadcasting my private thoughts in an anything-but-private online journal. It made sense for awhile, but now I don't give a damn about the internet or keeping up appearances or any of that bullshit. Go ahead, read this- judge me, please.
I feel physically sick when I think of where I'm at in life right now. I've been trying to stay far away from Facebook because its only the biggest fucking reminder that everyone I used to know is doing well, or at the very least, much better than myself. I've also been trying to pretend like hell that things would get better, that it was only a matter of time. Seriously, who am I kidding? Apparently I'm still that insecure, socially dysfunctional 15 year old that I was in high school. I have no reason, NO REASON to be so miserable, so fucked up, so absolutely out of it. Honestly, its gorgeous, like really fucking gorgeous outside and I cannot enjoy it for the life of me. There's awesome people here and it doesn't matter. I have nice clothes, a face that won't get spit at and I don't really NEED for anything. Except my family, they're the only ones I can depend on. And yet, I feel awful because they're SO incredibly good to me and all I can give them is this pathetic excuse for a daughter/sister. They deserve a person so much better than me and I can't seem to give them anything more, no matter how hard I try.
You know, my mom and I went to visit her side of the family for a few days over my spring break. And the craziest thing is that we didn't fight the entire time we were there. Not once. I was happy. Or at least, I tried to be. But I'm trying and trying and it just still doesn't feel right. Maybe I'm a ridiculous romantic with an unrealistic view of what "normal" or "standard" emotions are, but I kind of feel like I haven't experienced what real happiness is. As jaded and bitter as I've become, I still have this little kind of hope that things will get better. I always do. But I'm getting tired of being hopeful and seeing potential, only for nothing to happen- I just want to have some sort of happiness to get me through. I want to be happy or even content, simply for the sake of my poor mother's sanity. That woman has helped me through EVERYTHING and all I want is for her to not have to worry about me. No one knows how fucking frustrating it is to have everything I need, quite a bit of what I want and I can't even enjoy any of it. No one gets it because I don't even get it.

My name is Renee and I'll be 22 years old on Monday March 31st.
And I can't be happy, no matter how hard I try.
My advice to you?
Stay far away from me and you'll be fine.

You know, I care less and less what people think.
[Ani Difranco]

Let me take you down cause I'm going to Strawberry Fields.

2008-03-28T23:08:24Z

I’ve fallen in love with Across The Universe, the movie. Jim Sturgess is my newest crush and the soundtrack has been played in much repetition since I finally saw/bought the DVD. I didn’t love it right away though, it took a bit to sink in. I seem to appreciate something new every time I watch the movie or really, really listen to the soundtrack.
Oh, it is love.

And I like to take up space just because I can.

2008-03-27T19:48:17Z

Jurell and I are sitting sprawled out in Starbucks on our computers. He's doing homework, I'm relating my every moment to song lyrics. My coat and purse are all spread out, my legs resting on one of those big circular block coffee table things [I'm so articulate, I know]. I can't exactly tell you why this moment is significant for me, other than to say its related to something that was discussed in one of my Women's Studies classes and the oppression of women. Ani sums it up for me anyway with that one line.
I can't wait for Summer.
I'm not very good at this writing thing anymore. My attention span is too short now. I don't even know if I have any real talent in writing anyway. This self-doubt thing sucks even more. Why is it some people know exactly what they want to do and they're able to do it without any major issues... then there's slackers like me who aren't able to figure out what they want and then when they do, every possible obstacle gets in the way? Days like this, I just want to give up.

I've been taught to hold back the tears.

2008-03-01T09:36:50Z

I feel like I can't be the kind of person everyone expects me to be right now. I can't pretend to be something I'm not. And I'm not happy lately, so I'm not going to act like it. I'm pretty depressed. And its not like I'm going to bring anyone else down with me, I keep to myself. I don't expect anyone else to do anything, its no one else's responsibility. But when I don't feel like partying anymore, don't give me shit. I don't know, its like I want people to love me and want me around, but I don't want to be forced. I'll hang out when I feel up to it and if I don't want to, respect it. I'm a hypocrite, I'm not fun and I say all the wrong things. I'm always out-numbered, no one ever agrees with me. I just want someone to be on my side. Its like I can't be around anyone right now, its too difficult. Social interaction has always been somewhat of a problem for me, but not usually like this. This is like, extreme. I can't handle more than a few people at a time or I get nervous or sad or really sensitive. I never feel like I fit in, ever ever ever. I feel like I'm unwanted, a total wallflower. So why even subject myself to that? 2008 might be the year I become a recluse.

I want to rub between your thighs, blow kisses right between your eyes.

2008-02-26T20:41:13Z

I just got incredibly inspired and wrote the very beginning of a possible short story for me to work on. I'd love any feedback on what very little I have so far :)

"And the clock struck one."

Alice ran her fingertips down the length of her own arm, stopping to tap the face of her watch that encircled her wrist. It had been a gift from a friend and was made of seashells and hemp. She typically hated watches, but there was something about the intricate way this one was woven that she really liked.

One o'clock.

This time meant nothing in particular to her, except that she typically was taking a nap by one on a Tuesday afternoon. Instead, she lay splayed out- belly down on top of her black down comforter, hands tucked under her chin in a haphazard pose. She glanced down at the fluffy blanket, picking off tiny pieces of lint as she spotted them- only to have them float back to exactly where she'd plucked them from. Gray probably would've been a better choice, or tan. It was raining out and she had just returned from lunch with a friend. The bottoms of her jeans were still a bit damp and Alice could feel the wet cold on her heels. She'd been so sure of the last one. If only she could be more "like a guy," fuck 'em and leave 'em before they wake up the next morning. Not that she was bitter, but rather practical... Alice didn't have time to waste on getting hung up on some dude, especially one that didn't deserve it. She couldn't decide if her current relationship status was by choice or mere circumstance. After all, she did find him a bit awkward upon his return from Italy. Not in that cute boy-ish manner she'd seen at first, but just really like strange and uncomfortable. A bit less attractive too. But it was the idea of having someone in her bed on a regular basis that she couldn't quite let go of. The kissing and the hands-between-thighs and the heavy breathing on each others' necks. Sure, it never really happened that way, but oh god- she had been so fucking close.

...And that's all I have for now.

Would you want me when I'm not myself?

2008-02-25T05:42:50Z

Wait it out while I am someone else?
Suppose I said
Colors change for no good reason
words will go
From poetry to prose
[John Mayer]

I'm not myself lately.
I hate Winter.
I'm sorry everyone.
I hate feeling like this...

Cause everything must belong somewhere.

2008-02-17T09:12:30Z

I've come to realize that I can go about a month at school before I start to miss my family tremendous amounts. Rolin went home for the weekend and he sent me a picture of the dogs on his phone. All I've wanted lately is to be home for just one night. To hug my parents and snuggle my puppies. My mom, [possibly my dad] and I are going to visit my mom's family in Pennsylvania during my Spring break in March. I cannot wait, I'm so stoked to spend time with them. I always appreciate my family more when I've been away for awhile. I'm so lucky though, they're my everything<3

I'm also excited that I'm kind of going to be hanging out with some new people. Last night and tonight I spent time with Diana and a bunch of her friends. I smoked and got food with Seth and Roey today too. I really like all of them, they're a lot of fun. Here's to making some changes!

Every time you walk away, every time I'll be the same.

2008-02-13T05:49:49Z

I don't get it.
If you're in a relationship and one person is calling it quits... thats it. You're done. You do not look at the other person and go, "No." Because if you do, I hope they fucking look at you and say "E-fucking-scuse me?" Can someone also explain the concept of breaking up to me? Because I thought when you break up, you usually stay that way. Yes, I understand people sometimes get back together. But if you "broke up" and then are "back together" twelve hours later... you didn't really fucking break up then, DID YOU? That my friend, is called a FIGHT. Normal people have them occasionally. Some people have them constantly. And that is when you end it. Significant others and friends should enrich your life, add something to it. Not fucking take away from everything else in it. Family is the only group that gets to ruin your life and have an excuse because well, they're your fucking family. Its a lot harder to get rid of them. But unless their blood is running through your veins or there's a ring on your finger [and yes, even then there are definite exceptions] and the person is bringing you down on a regular basis... FUCKING GET RID OF THEM. Maybe not remove them from your life completely, but in general.

TRANSLATION: I'm pissed because my friend's boyfriend ruined my night by fighting with her the whole time her and I were hanging out. He also made her cry profusely and I can't do a damn thing. And then I come back to my room to find my roommate's SUPPOSED EX-boyfriend here with her. Seriously, not right now dude. And I thought they broke up anyway?! Why does every girl I know seem to have absolutely no fucking backbone when it comes to [shitty] guys?! Is it really that difficult to stand your ground? I will never compromise my own strength, beliefs and who I am as a person for the sake of a relationship. And I'm beginning to lose respect for those that do.

You excite me like a locked door.

2008-01-30T19:04:53Z

I love meaningful and not-so-meaningful conversations with Michelle at 4AM. I love waking up and feeling hung over [despite no drinking the night before], but being okay with it because I'm somewhere I feel safe and wanted. I love Stacey coming back from class and randomly putting my bangs into cornrows. I love my new phone. I love that little corner outside of the dining hall where the leaves always swirl around in mini-twisters. I love walking on the path to Alumni and getting a whiff of the weed someone is smoking nearby. I love writing "All you need is love" on trees with Michelle. I love that I almost, almost don't care what Jay has to say to me tonight. I love that Matt grabbed me and hugged me yesterday. I love that Matt was bummed for a bit when I left him and Michelle last night. I love that I'm sore from working out yesterday. I love that my schedule is finally set for this semester. I love coming back to my room and seeing an IM from Amy. I love that one of my professors is a total fucking fox. I love, love, love finding new music and introducing friends to music I already adore. I love the people here; the way they dress, the way they don't give a shit what the rest of the world thinks. I love Pandora Radio [thanks Stace]. I love painting. I love my new little Moleskine and how I've already filled 6 whole pages.
Sure, I may have absolutely no idea what "romantic" love is like...
but I'm totally good with this for now<3

I'd say that I missed it here, but that'd be an understatement.

EDIT: I don't love dudes right now. Many of them may be attractive, but most of them have caused nothing but stress lately.

And there's two sides to every street.

2008-01-19T15:39:38Z

I finally saw Juno the other day.
Love, love, love.

Here's the thing.
I love each and every one of you, and this is in no way meant to piss anyone off. Its more of an FYI. But I know a few of you reading this are texting fiends. Would it hurt you to text me once in awhile? I'm not being a hypocrite- I'm fully aware that I can contact people too. But I feel like I do try, maybe I'm wrong. I'm realizing that the people who are worth talking to, are the ones that make an effort, in all aspects. I'm not going to waste time on guys that aren't interested, why should friends be any different? In no way am I saying that I give up on the human race completely and won't be calling anyone anymore. Actually, I plan on staying in better contact with people this semester if anything. But I refuse to always have to be the one to call. Call me stubborn; call it commmon sense; call it what you will. I'm sorry to those of you I didn't see before I left for school. I kind of lost track of time this past week and didn't budget enough of it to see everyone. But I'm glad I did get to see all of you at some point! And Amy, I'm SO glad we finally hung out! Visits & ETID in March!!!
Me: This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.
Amy: You're corny<3

I can't believe I'm leaving tomorrow already. I'd say this trip home didn't seem very long, but that'd be a lie. I'm so stoked on going back, I can't wait. I still feel like there's so much to do. I'm going to be exhausted by Monday. Now onto a day full of packing, hanging with my fam and seeing my sister's new house!